"Social anxiety is the fear of social situations and the interaction with other people that can automatically bring on feelings of self-consciousness, judgment, evaluation, and criticism. Put another way, social anxiety is the fear and anxiety of being judged and evaluated negatively by other people, leading to feelings of inadequacy, embarrassment, humiliation, and depression. If a person usually becomes anxious in social situations, but seems fine when they are alone, then "social anxiety" may be the problem.
Being introduced to other people
Being teased or criticized
Being the center of attention
Being watched while doing something
Meeting people in authority ("important people")
Most social encounters, particularly with strangers
Making "small talk" at parties
Going around the room in a circle and having to say something
The physiological manifestations that accompany social anxiety may include intense fear, racing heart, turning red or blushing, dry throat and mouth, trembling, swallowing with difficulty, and muscle twitches. Constant, intense anxiety that does not go away is the most common feature.
People with social anxiety disorder know that their anxiety is irrational and does not make "head" sense. Nevertheless, "knowing" something is never the same as "believing" and "feeling" something. Thus, in people with social anxiety, thoughts and feelings of anxiety persist and show no signs of going away."
I was born with this, ever since I can remember I recall being terrified. I hid my fear for a very long time, I didn't want people to know how scared I really was. Even elementary I was worried about social interaction and in middle school and high school it has prevented me from having deep relationships with schoolmates. I always kept everyone at a distance. I felt ashamed of trembling when just standing in a line at a grocery store. Ashamed that sleep overs made me feel anxious and awkward.
About 10th grade is when everything got way worse, I ended up getting myself into an abusive relationship. And with someone who is already scared of people, it killed all the small progress I made. Now I refuse to go outside alone.
The only way I could like someone deeply is if I met them on the internet. It's easier for me to be open behind a keyboard than face-to-face. Even internet social things scare me, I'm always terrified of people's replies and talking to a lot of people at once. But I want people to like me for who I am, and that means being completely honest and open. Maybe if I can pour my heart into this blog, I'll not be as scared of all of you.
You can tell me what you think of the blog by either commenting here or responding by formspring. With this button:
Answer Questions Or ask me about my anxiety
There nothing to fear, people are harmless :P
ReplyDeleteI followed your link from twitter. I also have a case of social anxiety. From reading this I don't think that mine is quite as intense as yours but I appreciate and applaud the courage it took to make this. I hope writing in this blog help you out.
ReplyDelete@Dragon, I know you mean to make me laugh but I'm being extremely vulnerable with this blog. I'm honestly terrified of people, so saying their harmless isn't helpful. Makes me feel more alone and misunderstood.
ReplyDelete@Tim, any form of anxiety is really hard even the minor bits of it. I feel your pain and hope that it's manageable for you. I want to manage mine a lot better and I'm hoping that this will make me feel safer with others.
Everyone wants to be loved. You are not alone in that. If social interaction scares you, take baby steps - but take them daily.
ReplyDeleteI hope you can too. I hope this helps you and that many I can be helpful as well.
ReplyDelete@Goose you're right, I need to take them daily and keep moving forward even if it's already uncomfortable.
ReplyDelete