Another update!

This post is going to be a bit sloppy, I'm super tired but have had a lot on my mind lately. I will probably re-write this and put in more detail for 1upyourlive.com Which is where I now post anxiety related stuff. This blog is probably going to just hide away seeing as I write there now for my issues and to help others like myself.



I've come to a lot of decisions lately about my anxiety. Decided I must seek professional help any way possible. As you know, I don't have the money to go to one or work at all. My parents can't pay for me to go and I have no insurance. So I'm going to get my information from family doctor (who knows about my condition and subscribed me medication) or my old therapist. I will then take this to a free mental health clinic. Because last time I tried to go to one of these they said "Anxiety wasn't serious enough of a disorder to get in free." However, it is. I have the proof and will go to as many as I can. A free clinic isn't really "Free." But it will discount me due to not working and not being insured. Hopefully it's not much.
If I have trouble with this or it costs too much. I will be applying for social security. I cannot work due to my anxiety and have enough proof that I should be able to get on it. Which then in return should pay for my therapy. >.<
Just super frustrating when you don't have the money to go to therapy and can't get money from working or parents.


Why can't I do it on my own? Trust me.. I tried. EVERYTHING. Well, not weed. XD So maybe not everything, but pretty much. I've tried just doing it without anything. However, I keep failing and turtling backwards. Arg.


What I've tried
B Vitamins
Valerian
Camamile tea
Stress relieving Tea (multi)
Multivitamins for stress relief
Kava Kava
Exercise
Avoiding Caffeine
Sleeping well
Eating Well
St. Johns Wort
Omega 3
Blogging
Diaries


Pills I've been on
Zoloft (this is when i was 16-17 and i refused to take it, thought it was going to "change me" lol)
Abilify (when i was scared to take pills. 16-17)
Lexapro (did nothing but made me not sleep)
Xanex (the only one that worked, though it made me sleepy)


Basically, I've tried to do it on my own and failed. I need therapy. Sigh. I really wanted to do it on my own. Now I have to go through the trouble about finding therapy.. without money. @.@ Just thought I'd keep everyone updated on my struggle of trying to get through this by myself. However, I will continue to write about my struggle with anxiety when I do get therapy and hopefully have more insight on how to cure myself. ^^