All today I've been anxious. Well, I should say yesterday now that I look at the time. Just... every moment, I could feel my heart beat a little bit faster.
Even with just watching tv and crocheting, I felt anxious. Dreading to be on the computer, so I avoided it all day long. Besides randomly checking to see if anyone was trying to get a hold of me. There isn't a specific reason why I'd be more anxious today than other days, nothing happened. No one bugged me, was mean, nor was I put into something that made me feel uncomfortable.
Though, I did walk with my mom to the store, I haven't walked to the store in about a month. I've been not feeling up to making the walk, mentally. Because I did have a panic attack when I was there not too long ago. I was afraid that it might happen again. However, I didn't feel weird about going. Maybe it was because my mom was there, maybe she made me feel safer? It was nice to go to the store and not be freaked out. The funny thing is, we forgot the credit card and had to go back and get it. Which, should make me feel embarrassed or super anxious but this time it didn't.
Though... being at home, I felt more uneasy. I wonder why... a situation that is suppose to/normally does make me feel anxious didn't and then being at home made me feel panicky. Seems like the opposite of how it should be or how it is normally.
It might have to do with things that I'm dealing with as of lately; my childhood. So being left to think about it is making me feel sick and anything to distract me is comforting. This is most likely the reason. I just find it interesting, because this is abnormal for me. Thought I'd share!
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